Invention without Intention

440 million years ago an insect chirped a warning.

20,000 years ago the first mythology began.

In 3200 BCE language was written onto clay tablets. Written language was invented two other times independently.

Algebra was invented over two thousand years later.

In 2400 BCE the abacus was invented by a person who shit in a hole in the ground.

Fifty years later the toilet was invented.

In 1923 the water slide was invented.

In 1687 Isaac Newton published his theory of gravity.

In 1957 Sputnik defied gravity to become the first man made satellite.

The wing was invented through the evolution of insects 40,000 years ago.

In 1823 an oxygen assisted man walked on the sea floor.

 600 million years ago the lung was invented.

A mechanical lung is being developed now.

Life began photosynthesizing 3.2 billion years ago.

0.5 Billion years ago the hug was invented by an amoeba.

In 1609 the microscope was invented.

A year earlier the telescope was invented.

Light pollution began in Antioch in the 4th century.

7,500 BCE the city was invented.

In the fifteenth century the scientific method was invented.

In 1986 the National Science Foundation Network provided interconnectivity between super computer sites across the United States. The phone in your pocket is three times more powerful than those super computers.

In 1998 emojis were invented. That same year someone successfully used emojis to get laid.

A billion years ago sex was invented.

In 1881 cigarette smoking became widespread due to the invention of the cigarette rolling machine.

In the 1940’s cigarette smoking was shown to be positively correlated to cancer.

In 1888 a man named Francis invented statistical correlation.

In 1901 radiation therapy was invented.

13.8 billion years ago nuclear fusion was invented.

60,000 years ago art was invented. Five minutes later pornography was invented.

In 2005 YouTube was launched. Today I watched a video of a spear fishing orangutan.